Some time after I came back I was in a Polish mode. It’s some sort of depth and maturity. One avrech (married man) said that always after I come back from Poland he sees this spark of difference in my eyes.
During summer when I was in Warsaw I had more time to think… It passed through my mind that I need to be more on top of things. I was also lonely…
There are two of me. Max and Hillel. I have two personalities. The first is more emotionally exchanging with people and mature. The second is more loud, more of a player and a hacker. Max is more polish and so deep and real. Hillel is more western and self conscious, he may also seem fake because things are more means to another goals. Changing subject..
‘Who am i?’ I’m asking myself. ‘What do i want to do?’ is bombing my conscience and not only.
On one hand I would like to learn holy Torah.
I would like to change the world also.
In any case I want to grow, change, get smarter and gain perspective. Again changing subject.
I’m glad I was young enough when I was exposed to Americans to pick up self conscience from them. They are masters of it.
Bein hazemanim came. It strengthened my feelings. I feel the world is too big for just me… much too big… and i want to change it… (both sences)
this is an incredible post.
As a reply to your dillema of changing yourself vs. the world I heard the following story about the Kotzker Rebbe…
When Menachem Mendel of Kotzk realised he was a soul, he decided he wanted to change the world. So he began to try, but saw it was too big. So he focused just on his country, but again it was too big. So then his province, then his city, then his neighbourhood, then his family… Eventually he decided to change himself (which involves alot of Torah learning..) And he became the Kotzker Rebbe, and we tell stories about him.
So he changed the world by changing himself.
im pretty sure it was the Chofetz Chaim and not the Kotzker
I have heard of this story before, but could not recall who it was about. I was curious and did some research- and this is what I found:
“This little story I am about to tell you has been attributed to most of the great rabbis of the 19th-20th centuries. I read it in reference to the following: the Chafetz Chaim, the Apter Rav, Rebbe Zusia, Rebbe Simcha Bunem and Rabbi Chaim of Sens. You name him, he said it! Courtesy of my colleague Rabbi Stephan Parnes, here goes! Rabbi Chaim of Sens used to say, “When I was young I wanted to change the world. I tried, but the world didn’t change. Then I tried to change my town, but my town didn’t change. Then I tried to change the members of my family, but they didn’t change. Then I realized that first I must change myself.”
you can view the article where i found this at:
http://btee.org/new/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=88&Itemid=115
the story may have happened to the Chofetz Chaim like anonymous said but not the Kotzker Rebbe
Yaakov, are you aware that the site you got that from is a conservative temple? Hardly a credible source if you ask me
I’m interested to know where you got the idea about the Kotzker Rebbe. Was it from a particular sefer?
Yossi, Yaakov are you in Medrash? Don’t think I’ve met you…
jerusalem….. living in the palace of the king.
hey max..we have to sing the “ka echsof”, and other chassidish songs together.
what does that have to do with anything?
Shlomo used to repeat a teaching that is found in the name of a number of rebbes, the Kotzker Rebbe and the Imrei Emes (the third Gerer Rebbe). It says in the Talmud that just as people have different faces and different noses, so do they have different opinions.
Shlomo used to say: If we don’t get angry at people for having different noses than us, why should we be angry at them for having different opinions?
from http://www.jewishspirit.com/Journal/torah_teachings_1.html