once we are already on the subject of psychology, let me share with you one of the things in which i changed lately.
let’s say 8 months ago (and always beforehand), if somebody would try to put me down (whether consciously or subconsciously), i would ‘let’ him do it. last few years i would realize that (when it’s done through some tricky, implied way; it it’s straight of course i would realize it) somebody is trying to do so, but still i wouldn’t actively defend myself.
i noticed lately, that i stand for myself and i bounce the attack.
is it good or bad?
one of the differences between americans and europeans is that the people from the old continent think more about the past (for sure in between people relationships, but maybe also in the past altogether).
one of the rabbonim which speaks in our yeshivah once said, that he was told by somebody who drinks family size bottle of coke and doesn’t share it with others:’there is more lomdus in my shul than in your head, rabbi.’ so the rabbi told us ‘i could sleep during the night, i’m american’. this story illustrates the rule.
it changed also, but still i’m a person who thinks a lot what people tell me or think about me. so if somebody would put me down, it could have a long lasting effect.
so, in my humble opinion: it’s moral to bounce an psychological attack, because a) what right the attacker has to put down somebody else? b) why the defender should feel bad ever? especially if he is european and it will hurt him a lot. there is no reason why person should fell bad if he can feel good. so, i don’t allow anybody to make me feel bad… i’m so sorry…… i’m a psychological fighter
that’s how it was… but it evolved in some cases (migo thinking) into psychological battle with people who don’t intend harm, just want to be superior… very often such a challenge is based for most part only on exchanging glances. i don’t know how to put it in words.
it maybe somewhat caused by not that peaceful man…
once we are on a subject of a fighter:
(it has nothing to do with putting down, it’s just a great line)
once moshe g. said about avi ma. ‘inside this small boy, is a fighter’… it fits so good… avi is like smaller and he is a …. fighter.
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